40 Lb Box of Rape

Each week, various media outlets and blogs, including this one, highlight the most exciting games of the week. This is like the opposite of that. 40 lb box of rape is a weekly feature where we pick out the most lopsided game of the week where “surprise sex” is the most likely outcome.

This week’s sex offender du-jour is the small throated Ohio State Suckeyes (because they choke, get it?). Their victim? None other than their in-state “rivals”, the Ohio *victims* Bobcats. The Suckeyes are favored by a massive 34 points, and should easily rack up double that if they are truly as good as their fans say they are every single year. This, like every other game that OSU plays in the Big Ten, is a creampuff game, and will end accordingly. But good for them keeping the money in-state by playing Ohio instead of some random division II team. Hearty congratulations go out to OSU for being able to do the football equivalent of owning kids in a race at the Special Olympics year in and year out.