40 Lb Box of Rape

The 40 lb box of rape has returned! After never successfully predicting which game would be the most lopsided of the week, we’ve decided to make this a recap of the worst beating that actually occurred the previous weekend. Enjoy the surprise sex synopsis (there’s some alliteration for your Engrish majors).

This week’s convicted sex offenders are the USC Trojans, who hung 69 points on Washington State in a brutal shutout. Dirty Sanchez threw five touchdown passes in the first half, and hung out at the Waffle House down the street during the entire second half. The Cougars gave up an impressive 163 yards on 23 sacks. And the bulk of that was likely against USC’s fourth string defensive unit, two cameramen who just wanted to jump in for a few plays, and six members of the crowd chosen at random, including one guy in a wheelchair. The guy in the wheelchair got one of the sacks. I guess what I’m trying to say is, Washington State is bad. This beating is not really as impressive as the Cougars have allowed 66, 63, and 66 points in their other three conference losses, but I’m willing to ignore that for the sheer joy of typing “69 point shutout”. See? That was fun. Totally worth it.