Monday Miscellany with Bobby Bowden's Ghost

Dead Bobby Bowden here. I had a great weekend playing golf with Lou Holtz’s ghost and Michael Irvin’s sportscasting career. I can hear you now: “But Bobby, neither you or Lou Holtz are dead.” Au contraire my little pepito. I died in early ’97, and Holtz died half way through his term at South Carolina. We were both replaced by life-like robots with no decision making capacity whatsoever. Contrary to popular belief, Joe Paterno is simply a really old guy, and not a robot.

Ohio State almost choked earlier in the season than usual against a team than was 6-6 last year, including a loss to Buffalo. Does this surprise anyone? Actually, yes it does. The Suckeyes are supposed to stomp their weak schedule and choke at the end of the year, not almost put up a repeat of the USC-Stanford game last year. And if anyone says they "finished strong" I will stab you in one eye. You get to pick which one.

A directional school won two games. In a row. Against ranked teams? What? I just looked and hell doesn't seem to be frozen over, yet here we are.

No happiness will be tolerated! At least as long as BYU is on the field. The refs imposed strict traditionalist Mormon values in the form of a 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty after Huskies QB Jake Locker failed to politely hand the ball to the ref while averting his eyes after a (theoretically) game-tying TD with 0:02 on the clock. This led to the Huskies blowing the PAT and losing the game. The order of blame is as follows: the Mormon faith, the refs, Washington’s special teams crew letting BYU through for the block.

The best part of Tony Franklin’s new spread offense at Auburn? Surprising the running backs by greasing their gloves with olive oil during the first two drives. Despite two fumbles in the red zone, my beloved el Tigres rallied to beat Southern Miss, and failed to cover their TE at any point during the second half.