Five for Friday

It’s Friday again. And you know what that means: More useless and probably incorrect predictions from yours truly. To give you some background on my pedigree in this arena, I’m currently sitting in dead last in our ten game a week college football picks league. I’m pretty qualified to be doing this.

Boise State will crush Oregon’s injury drained spirits for the season. The Broncos are sitting on a fairly decent team this year with their rushing attack headed up by the eternally enrolled Ian Johnson. Meanwhile, the Ducks’ quarterback woes continue with fourth string QB Justin Roper out 2 to 4 weeks with a partial MCL tear. Is there something in the water up there? It seems like Oregon loses a player or two every week. Look for the Broncos to use an abundance of trickeration and first string players to seal the win.

Wake Forest will do their part to accelerate Bobby Bowden’s decline into absolute irrelevance by beating Florida State at home. To be honest, I think that when the odds makers favor the lower ranked home team over the higher ranked visitor (Wake is AP #18, FS is AP #24), they are just setting the home team up for the “upset”. Except we all know it isn’t an upset, because the higher ranked team wins. What I’m really trying to say here is that Bowden died in ’97 and was replace by an incompetent robot, and Drew Weatherford is a nice guy who just can’t seem to catch a break. The Demon Deacons are taking this one home, and I’m not just saying that because my father-in-law is a pastor.

Florida is going to help Tennessee volunteer to lose. See what I did there? Sure, there are concerns about the Gators’ defense, particularly the secondary, but those are easily mitigated by the Volunteers’ anemic offense, with Crompton having 2 TDs and 3 picks so far. But wait, didn’t Tennessee hang 35 points on UAB? Oh, I’m sorry… I forgot I was talking about UAB. Forget that last point. With Percy Harvin returning recovered from a heel injury and 30 lbs of muscle heavier, look for the Florida running game to get a much needed shot of juice. Tennessee’s defense is going to pose some problems for the Gators, especially in their running game, and playing at what looks like a garbage worker convention won’t help either. Look for Florida to take control by the second half, right around the time Tennessee self destructs in front of the home crowd.

Alabama is going to make Arkansas squeal like a pig. Y’know, because they have a pretty (metaphorical) mouth. Saban’s squad is looking much better than last year, and that much vaunted freshman class is proving to be almost as good as advertised. Jessica Parker Wilson hasn’t screwed up nearly as much as she usually does, and looks to be supported by a solid running game (hello Mark Ingram!), instead of having the whole weight of the offense placed on her shoulders. Meanwhile, Arkansas has… well they’ve got a good… no, that’s not really true… but they do… nevermind… they have Casey Dick. That’s it. They’re fucked. Look for this to be a bloodbath.

Georgia is flying out west to see the grand canyon, and while they’re there, they’ll probably destroy Arizona State. Let’s see, Georgia is the #3 ranked team in the country who laid an egg last week against South Carolina and barely squeaked by with a last minute interception, while Arizona State just lost to UNLV. Hmmm… which one to choose? Maybe I should flip a coin? Oh wait, this coin just has the word “Georgia” written on both sides. Well there you go. Look for the Sun Devils to “get up” for this game and play well the first five minutes, until the crushing memories of a last minute loss to UNLV send them into an Ohio State-like tailspin of self destruction, facilitated by the Bulldogs’ messiah, Knowshon Moreno.