2011 DammitHerring.com Preseason All-American Team

God Bless America!

In keeping with our theme of predicting the future of college football in 2011, I’m going to do my preseason All-American Team. I have checked out several different All-American lists and using those as a base plus what I think, I have come up with a list which I feel is 100% accurate. No 2nd or 3rd string teams for me. That’s just loser talk. You’re either an All-American or you’re not. Alabama leads the list with four selections, Oregon has three, Georgia, Nebraska, and Oklahoma have two each.

Offense

Quarterback - Andrew Luck, Stanford Cardinal
Running Back – LaMichael James, Oregon Ducks
Running Back – Trent Richardson, Alabama Crimson Tide
Wide Receiver – Justin Blackmon, Oklahoma State Cowboys
Wide Receiver – Alshon Jeffery, South Carolina Gamecocks
Wide Receiver – Ryan Broyles, Oklahoma Sooners
Tight End – Michael Egnew, Missouri Tigers
Offensive Tackle – Nate Potter, Boise State Broncos
Offensive Guard – Barrett Jones, Alabama Crimson Tide
Center – Mike Brewster, Ohio State Buckeyes
Offensive Guard – Ryan Miller, Colorado Buffalos
Offensive Tackle – Kelechi Osemele, Iowa State Cyclones

Defense
Defensive Line – Brandon Jenkins, Florida State Seminoles
Defensive Line – Quinton Couples, North Carolina Tar Heels
Defensive Line – Jared Crick, Nebraska Cornhuskers
Defensive Line – Jerel Worthy, Michigan State Spartans
Linebacker – Vontaze Burfict, Arizona State Sun Devils
Linebacker – Travis Lewis, Oklahoma Sooners
Linebacker – Courtney Upshaw, Alabama Crimson Tide
Linebacker – Luke Kuechly, Boston College Eagles
Cornerback – Cliff Harris, Oregon Ducks
Cornerback – Alfonzo Dennard, Nebraska Cornhuskers
Safety – Mark Barron, Alabama Crimson Tide
Safety – Kenny Tate, Maryland Terrapins

Special Teams

Kick Returner – Damaris Johnson, Tulsa Golden Hurricanes
Punt Returner – Cliff Harris, Oregon Ducks
Placekicker – Blair Walsh, Georgia Bulldogs
Punter – Drew Butler, Georgia Bulldogs

Florida's Nike Pro Combat Uniforms For 2011

I can't say that I'm 100% sure that this purported picture of Florida's Pro Combat Uniform for the 2011 season (courtesy of Nike) is legitimate. I can say that I feel like it's an accurate representation of the Gator Nation in cloth form.

I believe that my young friend here agrees with me:

Is There An Alabama Scandal On The Horizon?

This past week a glowing story by Yahoo! Sports (I absolutely hate typing the exclamation point when referencing Yahoo) made the University of Miami look like the most corrupt football program in the country since SMU went full retard in the mid 80’s and got themselves a good ‘ol death penalty from the NCAA.

If you don’t want to read the whole article (and I assure you, you do), I’ll summarize: Basically all of Miami’s coaching staff participated in a bunch of bad stuff with formerly wealthy booster (and current Ponzi scheme convict) Nevin Shapiro, including providing cash payments, free boat rides, and whores to prospective players. Mr. Shapiro is currently serving an extended sentence in Federal Prison for running the Ponzi scheme that gave him the money to buy hookers for football players, and has decided that ratting out Miami is the only sensible thing to do.

So how does this involve Alabama, you might ask? It turns out that after Randy Shannon was fired as Miami’s coach, his staff decided to find other Universities where they can put their battle hardened hooker delivery skills to use. Two of the coaches specifically named in the report, Jeff Stoutland and Joe Pannunzio, found new jobs at the University of Alabama. Stoutland is the new offensive line coach with a two year contract at $395k, while Pannunzio is the new Director of Football Operations.

If you listen to Paul Finebaum’s daily radio show (which is much like a train wreck in slow motion: You want to look away, but it is so awesome that you can’t), you will have heard a significant hubbub about the hiring of these two former Miami coaches, and how Nick Saban has some “questions that need to be answered”. Radio shows and news outlets alike are having a blast speculating about this link between Alabama and the Miami scandal.

As much as I love a good scandal, and I really do, this is a whole lot of nothing that folks are getting themselves worked up over. There are two basic explanations for the hiring of both Stoutland and Pannunzio:
1. Both men were asked at some point in the hiring process if they had any sort of improprieties in their past, and they both lied.
2. Alabama hired both men with at least some knowledge that they had committed pretty severe NCAA violations while coaching at Miami.

Seeing how well Nick Saban appears to run the Alabama program, which of these two situations seems most likely? I’ll give you a hint. Use the principle of Occam’s Razor, which is basically that the simplest answer is usually also the correct one.

The worst thing that Alabama is dealing with is that the University was lied to during the hiring process, which should make it pretty easy to dismiss both guys if that is the case. To subscribe to the other theory is to believe that Alabama knowingly hired not one, but two ticking time bombs on their staff. This is stupid for so many reasons, not the least of which is that Alabama already totally has a guy on staff who delivers the players to hookers paid for by boosters*, and he’s doing a fantastic job.

*Allegedly. And by “allegedly”, I mean I made this up entirely, but it’s probably true.

Crazy Chick's 2012 BCS Championship Games That Could Happen!

All five of these crazy games could happen. Although they are not as crazy as the chick above! She haunts my dreams at night.

Crazy

Florida State Seminoles vs. South Carolina Gamecocks

How it could happen: This one isn’t too crazy. South Carolina runs through its schedule undefeated and then upsets Alabama or LSU in the SEC Championship. Waiting on them is Florida State who upset Oklahoma and then ran their schedule to be undefeated and beat Virginia Tech in the ACC championship. As the only undefeated BCS teams left in the country they both go the championship in a repeat of last year’s Chick-fil-A Bowl.

Very Crazy

LSU Tigers vs. Oregon Ducks

How it could happen: Yes! A match-up in the first week of the regular season gets replayed in New Orleans for the National Championship. So how does this happen? It’s very simple. Oregon upsets LSU in Dallas and goes on to run the table include winning the new PAC-12. LSU claws its way back to go 11-0 the rest of the year and wins the SEC Championship. A one loss SEC champion is better than any of the remaining teams and so LSU and Oregon finish the year the way they started it.

Triple Dog Dare Crazy

Ohio State Buckeyes vs. Boise State Broncos

How it could happen: The first miracle is that OSU doesn’t get hit with any more sanctions and can play in the postseason. Then Ohio State runs the table and wins the new Big 10 championship game, despite having lost their starting quarterback, their head coach, and several other starters for the first five games. Boise State sleep walks through their schedule and with Bama, Florida State, LSU, Oregon, and several others with multiple losses Boise finally gets its shot at the crystal ball.

Shaved Head Brittany Spears Crazy

Notre Dame Fighting Irish vs. West Virginia Mountaineers

How it could happen: How funny and awesome would this be? Again Bama, Florida State, LSU, etc all have a couple of losses. West Virginia goes 3-0 to start the year and then shocks LSU in Morgantown. They finish the year undefeated and the ghosts of 2007 are put to rest. Brian Kelly gets the Irish rocking and rolling and scores big wins over USC, Pitt, and Michigan State, and then caps off the year with a big upset of Stanford in Stanford Stadium. Irish literally go mad with happiness.

Liza Minnelli Crazy (Need I say more)

SMU Mustangs vs. USC Trojans

How it could happen: Stay with me on this one kids because I’ll need a page of explanation. And to all you naysayers yes I do have a way this could happen; I wouldn’t put it up there if there was no chance it could occur. First for how SMU gets here. SMU went 7-7 last year with an appearance in the Conf. USA championship game and a bowl win. They are returning almost all of their team. USC can't go to the postseason because of NCAA sanctions. So how does this match-up happen? Well SMU starts off their year by beating highly ranked Texas A&M and their next few easy games. They become ranked in the top 15 and then go on to beat TCU who is also ranked and become ranked in the top 10. Now while this is going on another Conf. USA team named Tulsa who went 10-2 last year is having a great year as well. Tulsa beats #1 Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, and then Boise State to propel them into the top six or seven teams in the country to set up an Oct. 29 clash with top ten SMU. SMU wins on the road and becomes the third best team in the country. Meanwhile USC has easily got through their schedule and become #1 in the country. As Bama, LSU, Oregon, Oklahoma, Georgia, Wisconsin, etc have all been beat twice. The problem is they can't win a national title because of the penalties. The #2 team in the country (doesn't matter who it is) gets beat for the 2nd time and SMU and USC become the #1 and #2 teams in the country. USC's students, coaches, celebrities, petition the NCAA to let them play in this year's national title; and they will take two extra years of punishment. Through the power of laughter USC superfan Will Ferrell convinces the NCAA to overturn its penalties and USC plays SMU in the 2012 BCS National Championship.

Alabama's Quarterback Might Be Retarded

I say "might", because AJ McCarron is only the suspected frontrunner for the Quarterback job at the University of Alabama. I say "retarded" because of the stunningly questionable placement and size of said tattoo. It doesn't help that in the above photo, the tattoo in question kind of looks like a tiger's head looking to the left, and that he is kind of rocking a summer beer gut.

This may be old news to the forum lurkers among you, but I had not heard about it until today. A close up of said tattoo leads us to the first ever Dammit Herring tattoo critique:

First, props for using Jesus. I can appreciate and fully approve of religious themed body art. But, as they say, the devil is in the details. The "Bama Boy" up top leaves very little room for a "this didn't work out so let's transfer to another school" situation, should Philip Sims edge you out for the QB slot. The graffiti-like names placed across the piece are probably tributes to family members, but they look kind of busy. The dove fits well with the Christ theme, as well as serving a reminder that you can pull some serious John Woo shit under center. The "McCarron" across the bottom is actually my favorite part, as it makes the whole thing look like some crazy ass Baptist Coat of Arms.

Overall: B+ for originality with some minor deductions for how busy it looks.

Behold the 2011 DammitHerring Hot Seat!

Every year without fail a dozen or so coaches start the year on the hot seat and this year will be no different. Coaching big time college football is a tough and stressful job. You get lots of money but the stress probably takes years off your life span, especially in the SEC. Here are some coaches who are in trouble if they can’t turn things around. This will be a shorter list than I thought since Randy Shannon, Rich Rodriquez, and Butch Davis have all been fired already.

Just Barely Warm

Les Miles, Head Coach for the LSU Tigers
What I think: Calm down LSU fans I don’t put Miles on this list like I do Nutt and Richt. His seat is just barley starting to heat, but I do believe the heat is there at least a small amount. LSU has the talent, prestige, and facilities to be a national title contender almost every year. I don’t think I’m stretching here in saying that out of every coach in the world who has won a national title I would put Miles dead last on the list of coaching ability. He won his national title with two losses (against Kentucky and Arkansas) and some unbelievable luck. But hey he did win one and I give him credit for that. After that though, with teams with arguably more talent than the 2007 squad he has floundered. 2008 he goes 8-5 with a loss against almost every LSU rival. He goes 9-4 and loses the bowl game in 2009. In 2010 he finally beats Bama but loses to Auburn which is no big deal but then loses a clunker to Arkansas to move LSU out of a BCS bowl. The “Mad Hatter’s” tricks are running out. Did anyone see that horrific clock managment against Ole Miss or the travesty that was the LSU/Tennessee game last year. This year LSU is going to be a top 5 team and will start their year against the Oregon Ducks who will also be ranked inside the top five. It’s put up or shut-up time.

Joe Paterno, Head Coach of the Penn State Nittany Lions
What I think: I want to start out by saying I don’t think Joe Pa is going to be fired by Penn State. At least I hope not. The guy is a legend with over 400 wins, two national titles, and numerous bowl appearances. But the guy is 84. He’s past retirement age and into, getting your affairs in order age, and that is not a joke. The last great season Penn State had was in 2008 when they went to the Rose Bowl (where they were blown out by USC) and Joe Pa was sidelined for much of it with hip replacement surgery. Look this is starting to get embarrassing for him and for Penn State. At the 2011 Big 10 media days he said he envisions coaching for years to come. Did Penn State boosters cringe or what? He is killing that university and the storied football program he created. They went 7-6 last year and looked outclassed against a Saban coached Bama and a Meyer coached Florida. I admire everything Coach Paterno has done for college football, but he needs to retire soon and not force Penn State to drive him off. If he could knock off Alabama at Beaver Stadium in the Fall it might help matters, but that’s a big if. (In a smaller degree, Mack Brown will be going down this same road unless he gets his shit together)

Getting Very Hot

Mark Richt, Head Coach for the Georgia Bulldogs
What I think: Bulldogs fans it’s time to get greedy. You have to start asking yourself hard questions. Is being a good 10 win team every year good enough or do you want to be a national title contender? Mark Richt has shown me that he is a mediocre to good coach at best and has squandered some very talented teams and mired them in mediocrity. Then when the seat is beginning to heat up last year he goes 6-7 with horrific losses to Mississippi State, Colorado, and an awful 10-6 loss to Central Florida in the Liberty Bowl. No, no, no, Georgia fans this is unacceptable. Give him one more year to make some noise. If he can’t at least get you to Atlanta, show him the door.

Houston Nutt, Head Coach for the Ole Miss Rebels
What I think: In 2008 Ole Miss surprised some people and had a solid season and won the Cotton Bowl. They were picked in 2009 as a national title sleeper team and the hype was crazy for them. They then went on to lose four games and ended their year with another Cotton Bowl win and 9-4 record. I’m sure the Ole Miss faithful were disappointed but thought, “oh well there is always 2010.” You poor naïve Ole Miss fans. Ole Miss’s 2010 season was nothing short of a train wreck. They lost their first game to Div. II School Jacksonville State, and went on to have a 4-8 season. No bowl game, a second loss to Mississippi State in the Egg Bowl. Nutt has to turn it around and quick or he will be out on the street dancing for dimes, or working as an analyst for ESPNU.

Dabo Swinney, Head Coach of the Clemson Tigers
What I think: In 2008 Tommy Bowden and his Clemson Tigers were riding high, they were picked to win the ACC and possibly a national title. To start off their season they would smack down Alabama in Atlanta. Except no one told Bama the plan and they killed Clemson 34-10. Bowden then won three easy games, but lost the next two ACC games and resigned under heavy fire. Dabo Swinney, the wide receivers coach, took over and led the Tigers to a 4-3 record the rest of the year. Because of that and the fact he beat South Carolina, Dabo was given the job to stay on as head coach. 2009 was better as Swinney led Clemson to the ACC title game which they lost in a close effort. Then in 2010 the Tigers looked very average going 6-6 in the regular season and losing their bowl game to South Florida. i guess you can see how bad the 2009 team would have been with C.J. Spiller. Dabo is 19-15 as a head coach so maybe he shouldn’t be on this list. But if you listen to sports radio most people say he is on his way out. He is a great recruiter that is in way over his head. He needs to go back to coordinating and recruiting then come back to head coaching. He might be a good one someday. But not here and not now.

Scalding and on their Way Out

Rick Neuheisel, Head Coach of the UCLA Bruins
What I think: You might remember a few years ago when ole Rick took over for the Bruins that he took out a full page add in a LA newspaper and proclaimed the dominance of USC was over. How’s that been working out Ricky? In 2008 they went 4-8, in 2009 7-6 with a big win in the EagleBank Bowl, and in 2010 back to 4-8 with losses against Stanford (35-0), Cal (35-7), Oregon (60-13), Arizona State (55-34), and Washington (24-7). Really the fact that he is coaching this year is kind of a head scratcher. How much better are the Bruins really going to be in 2011? I think it’s pretty much over already in Bruin country for Mr. Neuheisel.

Needs a National Title to Save Their Jobs

Ron Zook, Head Coach of the Illinois Fighting Illini
What I think: Ron Zook has more lives than some sort of magic laser cat with a lot of lives, nine I suppose. Zook was shown the door at Florida after he lost to Mississippi State in 2004. He then brought his "coaching talents" to Illinois. In 2006 Illinois went 2-10, yeah 2-10 you heard me right. Then in 2007 he went 9-4 and got blown out in the Rose Bowl, but the year was considered a success. Then when Illini faithful were thinking repeat trip to Pasadena apparently Zook was thinking 5-7 record and no bowl which is what happened in 2008. Oh well it couldn’t get any worse, after all in 2009 they were predicted as a dark horse candidate to win the Big 10. They finished the year 3-9, *crickets*. 3-9 when people thought they might be conference champs. In 2010 they beat Baylor in the Texas Bowl and finished the year 7-6. Again very average. This guy is awful to average at BEST. How is he still a coach? Really I’m asking the world at large to tell me.

Jim Grobe, Head Coach of the Wake Forest Demon Deacons
What I think: From 2001 to 2005 Wake Forest and Jim Grobe were a poor team to say the least. In 2004 and 2005 they went 4-7 both years, but then in 2006 a miracle. Wake Forest went 11-3 won the ACC title and went to a BCS bowl which they lost to Louisville. Things were looking great for old Grobe. In 2007 with expectations pretty high they regressed a little but still ended the year 9—4. In 2008 they trailed off a little again to go 8-5. Then in 2009 a big drop off to 5-7 and no bowl game. With his seat growing warm Grobe had his worst season at Wake Forest ever going 3-9 in 2010, and winning only one conference game. This is a spiraling trend that needs to be stopped with Grobe’s firing. Who knows maybe they can get back to 6-6 in 2011.

The 2011 Alabama Crimson Tide: On to the Next One?

Let’s get this out of the way now: Alabama’s defense is going to be filthy good this year. This, and a favorable schedule, account for the Tide’s #2 preseason ranking in the US Today Coach’s Poll. After last year’s learning experiences for some very young players, particularly the secondary, and a slower than expected return to form by Linebacker Dont’a Hightower, the Crimson Tide is returning 10 experienced starters on a defense that looks to be the best not just in the SEC, but the country. Buy the hype on this side of the ball, because it’s worth every penny. This group is going to be stingier than a Tea Party Enthusiast walking by a homeless guy.

On offense, it’s going to be much more of a mixed bag. Sure, you have returning third year running back Trent Richardson, who is going to be better and more experienced than he has in the last two years. Think about that for a minute. The guy was a beast as a true Freshman, and had some fans saying he was giving Heisman Trophy winner Mark Ingram a run for his money in 2009. Richardson was solid last year, but again waited in Ingram’s shadow to take the reigns as the feature back. I don’t expect him to waste the opportunity in 2011. Behind Richardson, depth is a little less stable. Number two back Eddie Lacy has had well documented troubles holding onto the ball and is already dinged up with a minor pectoral injury. Third in line, the much heralded Dee Hart, is already out due to a season ending knee injury, leaving either incoming Freshman Jalston Fowler or possibly Redshirt Freshman Blake Sims as a third option. An injury to Richardson could be catastrophic to Alabama’s offensive production.

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The quarterback situation doesn’t bode as well. With an undecided competition between Redshirt Sophomore AJ McCarron (who actually believes that the United States Government is run by aliens. Seriously. How awesome is that?) and Redshirt Freshman Phillip Sims, there is no stability or significant experience at quarterback. Both QBs have strong potential to be very good under center, but the lack of experience is a concern, and first year quarterbacks don’t typically fare well in the SEC. Whoever wins the starting job will be helped by an offensive line returning four starters, including Center William Vlachos, and Right Guard/Left Tackle Barrett Jones. The fact that these guys have significant game experience is going to help out the QB tremendously, no matter which line position they end up on.

With star Wide Receiver Julio Jones heading out early to Atlanta Falcons, Alabama is left without a proven deep threat receiver. Seniors Marquis Maze and Darius Hanks are both proven receivers, but benefited significantly from the constant defensive double teams that Julio commanded. It will be interesting to see whether Maze or Hanks steps up, or whether JuCo transfer Duron Carter (son of former NFL Receiver Cris Carter) can fill in the gap.

Alabama’s schedule is about as favorable as you can get in the SEC. Two of their three toughest games, Arkansas on Sept 24th and LSU on Nov 5th, are at home in Bryant Denny Stadium, while they face Auburn at Jordan Hare on Nov 26th. The only other potential hiccups on the schedule are a visit to Florida on Oct 1st and a visit to Mississippi State on Nov 12th. I’m completely discounting Penn. State, Vandy, Ole Miss, and Tennessee because they suck. At worst, I see the Crimson Tide going 10-2 on the season. At best, we could have the sixth National Championship in a row from the SEC, and the third in a row from the state of Alabama.

2011-12 Not Too Early BCS Predictions

Since every sports page will do these at some point between last year’s national championship game and this year’s first game, I thought Dammit Herring should give it a try too. If you like you like my predictions than great, and if you don’t like them, well then to hell with you!

Rose Bowl presented by VIZIO
Nebraska Cornhuskers vs. Oregon Ducks

Why: I’m just not buying into the hype that Ohio State can still be a great team without Tressel and with Pryor and other starters for five games. Hell they weren’t winning national titles with those two even when they had them. I like a one loss Ohio State to lose to a two loss Nebraska team in Lucas Oil Stadium for the Big 10 Championship game. Oregon won’t return to the national title game but they should win the PAC-12 comfortably.

Allstate Sugar Bowl
LSU Tigers vs. Boise State Broncos

Why: This is a tough one because I think the Bama/LSU game will decide who wins the SEC and goes to the national title game. Since I haven’t seen either team play yet I have to give the edge to Bama since the game is at Bryant-Denny and thus LSU is relegated to the Sugar Bowl. The undefeated Broncos finally get a shot at a top tier SEC program. Although even if they beat LSU it still proves nothing in my eyes. Boise State plays cake competition all year then they can get geared up for their final game. You suck Broncos!

Discover Orange Bowl
Wisconsin Badgers vs. Florida State Seminoles

Why: Stay with me on this one. Wisconsin loses one game to Ohio State and gets shutout of the Big 10 championship game. However with one loss and Ohio State losing to Nebraska in Indy, the Badgers become the other Big 10 BCS bowl team. Florida State will beat Virginia Tech in the ACC championship game and go to the Orange Bowl. However, FSU will have already lost to Oklahoma at home.

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl
Oklahoma State Cowboys vs. West Virginia Mountaineers

Why: This will be a yawner of a BCS game as a 10-2 Oklahoma State team destroy a hapless Big East champion in West Virginia. Its BCS bowls like this that really make me wish we had a playoff system. I mean I’m getting sleepy just typing about this boring game.

BCS National Championship
Alabama Crimson Tide vs. Oklahoma Sooners

Why: If you want to know why I’m picking Alabama see my Sugar Bowl notes. Oklahoma will slip up and lose a game but will advance to the national title game over undefeated Boise State sparking renewed protests of unfairness from the blue nation. God I hate Boise State.

2011 Alabama Media Guide Sneak Peek!

For you Bama fans out there I got a copy of the Alabama media guide a few weeks before it comes out. I had to go to some dark places and do some things I'm pretty ashamed of to bring you this sneak peek of the cover. Now that I see they went red on red I'm starting to have some remorse. Oh well enjoy!

The 2011 Auburn Tigers: The Defending Champs

I thought we might kick off the Dammit Herring year with a little thing Drew and I do where I predict Auburn’s year and he predicts the Tide’s year. For the defending national champs the 2011 season will be a lot rougher than the dream season last year. Through no fault of their own Auburn lost a slew of starters and other seniors who had significant playing time. They are without: Heisman QB Cam Newton, Lombardi award winner Nick Fairley, leading receivers Darvin Adams, Terell Zachery, and offensive do-all Kodi Burns. Almost the entire starting offensive line is gone Lee Ziemba and Ryan Pugh most of all. From defense linebackers Craig Stevens, Josh Bynes, nose tackle Mike Blanc, and Desmond Washington at cornerback have all left. Not to mention the loss of long time kicking studs Wes Byrum and Punter Ryan Shoemaker. Then if that were not bad enough Auburn dismissed five guys from the team and 6 or 7 more guys in spring practice. Ok bad news done. Now for the good news.

Though it cost them a pretty penny Auburn retained Gus Malzahn as offensive coordinator even though he was receiving offers for head coaching gigs from other schools like Vanderbilt and maybe Maryland. Keeping him was a major victory for though at times last year Auburn’s defense was not great their offense was almost always humming. And though Auburn lost out on Brent Calloway and Cyrus Kouandjio they still pulled in a monster top 5 recruiting class. Maybe no recruit is better than what many people think is the #1 OG in the country Christian Westerman who will probably start for the Tigers as a freshman. Also though much of their team left they still have some guys from the national title squad. No one tops that list more than Michael Dyer who had a great National title game in Arizona. Dyer is going to be thrust into the leadership role quick even though he is a sophomore. Ontario McCalebb is also back with his lightning speed and excellent return skills. It looks like Barrett Trotter will be taking over the starting QB gig and though he won’t be Cam Newton under Malzahn’s offense anyone can succeed. So now that we know all that let’s break down their schedule.

Sept. 3 Utah State Aggies (Home Game)
Prediction: Utah State 7 Auburn 41
Game recap: Duh here. Auburn will run and throw all over the hapless Aggies.

Sept. 10 Mississippi State Bulldogs (Home Game)
Prediction: Mississippi State 31 Auburn 34
Game recap: Lots of people think Auburn could lose this one. No way, no how. Lots of scoring but Auburn wins it on a field goal. Mississippi State is getting way too much hype this year.

Sept. 17 Clemson Tigers (Away Game)
Prediction: Clemson 21 Auburn 28
Game recap: Another game where people think Auburn will struggle, but I like them to mount a comeback in this game after Clemson jumps out to an early lead. Plus Dabo Sweeney is just terrible at football and at life.

Sept. 24 Florida Atlantic Owls (Home)
Prediction: FAU 10 Auburn 48
Game recap: Again do I really have to get into this game. Auburn kills them end of discussion. Plus the owl is just a weak-ass mascot.

Oct. 1 South Carolina Gamecocks (Away)
Prediction: South Carolina 24 Auburn 13
Game recap: For the first time in 19 games Auburn finally goes down. The South Carolina defense is too much for Dyer and McCalebb and Alshon Jeffrey has a field day with an inexperienced Auburn secondary regardless of who is throwing to him. I also predict Stephen Garcia is kicked off the team for coming out on the field with no pants on. Seriously that guy is a f***ing train reck.

Oct. 8 Arkansas Razorbacks (Away)
Prediction: Arkansas 38 Auburn 28
Game recap: In a mini replay of the high scoring game last year Arkansas and Tyler Wilson outscore Auburn and give the Tigers their 2nd straight loss. Also I just found out that a razorback pig does not actually have razors on his back. Seems wrong somehow.

Oct. 15 Florida Gators (Home)
Prediction: Florida 17 Auburn 21
Game recap: Yes you heard it here first. Auburn will beat the Florida Gators on Oct. 15. The Gators offense will not be great and Auburn’s D will rebound from two straight losses to shut down Florida. Will Muschamp’s return to Jordan-Hare is ruined. Sidenote who wins in a chest-bump competiton, Trooper Taylor or Will Muschamp? Yeah think about that!

Oct. 22 LSU Tigers (Away)
Prediction: LSU 41 Auburn 21
Game recap: This game is going to get ugly quick for the Tigers of the Plains. LSU playing in “Death Valley” as they stupidly call it will run all over the Auburn D. Auburn will put up some points late in the game but this will be no contest. An experienced team runs over an inexperienced team. I hate Les Miles, just saying.

Oct. 29 Ole Miss Rebels (Home)
Prediction: Ole Miss 17 Auburn 30
Game recap: Again Auburn rebounds at home with a big win over the terrible Rebels (or black bears) of Ole Miss. Look for Michael Dyer to have a record setting day here and then punching Houston Nutt in the ovaries. He has them.

Nov. 12 Georgia Bulldogs (Away)
Prediction: Georgia 31 Auburn 14
Game recap: Auburn’s offense just can’t get started against the Bulldogs who will be looking to wrap up the SEC East in this game. Samford Stadium is just not a fun place for the Burn.

Nov. 19 Samford Bulldogs (Home)
Prediction: Samford 3 Auburn 58
Game recap: Starting a two game stretch of playing teams in their home state Auburn takes a lot of aggression out against a horrible Samford team. They might let the Bulldogs get a field goal. You know just to be nice. This game will be so boring that even Chizik will be reading Harry Potter during most of the game as will most of the crowd.

Nov. 26 Alabama Crimson Tide (Home)
Prediction: Alabama 31 Auburn 17
Game recap: So the 2009 BCS champs will play the 2010 BCS champs. This just won’t be Auburn’s year though. Alabama’s D will be too strong and Richardson should have a big game against Auburn. In the next couple of years this game will go back to being a nail-biter but this year Alabama is just too tough for the Tigers. Roll Tide bitches! Sorry I can only be so un-biased.

Bowl Prediction
Auburn Tigers vs. Penn State Nittany Lions in the Outback Bowl

I’m not going to try and predict who will win the bowl game because I’m really just guessing that this is where the Tigers will end up with a 7-5 season like I have predicted. If they do play a Big 10 team in the Outback Bowl again I like Auburn to beat a Northwestern, Penn State, or Illinois.

Final thoughts: I can’t sugarcoat this for Auburn. A lot of your starters are gone and you have a brutal schedule compared to last year. I could see me being wrong a little and Auburn slipping up and beating Arkansas. If Auburn can finish 7-5 or 8-4 it will be a good year and they can get back into talks for national titles next year. The 2012 class is shaping up to be a VERY great class already.

Herring to the Saints! And We're Back!

Congratulations to this site's namesake, linebacker Will Herring, on being picked up in free agency by the Saints! It'll be really nice to have him away from those dirty Northwestern hippies in Seattle. Congratulations, Mr. Herring.

Oh, and after a year plus hiatus, we're back. I decided to take the 2010 season off, and my Auburn Tigers win the National Championship. That's probably a sign that I should just stay on hiatus, but my mediocre wit must be shared with the world!

If you're one of our old readers (Hi Mom!), then welcome back. If you're one of our new readers, then welcome to the party, pal.