Five for Friday

With the first night of college football, and several delicious irish car bombs, behind us, we look forward to the first Saturday of this season like little kids waiting for Christmas. Last night was Christmas Eve, and we got to open one present. Tomorrow we open them all.

Here are my picks for what I am considering the five most interesting games this weekend:

1. Alabama squeaks by Clemson – Clemson has the hype, but I have a feeling that Alabama is going to get up for this game, their first after a stellar recruiting class last year. Alabama will do their best to contain a strong Clemson backfield, but the game rests solely on the decisions of John Parker Wilson, henceforth referred to as JP Dub. If JP Dub can make smart throws, and the vaunted true freshman can keep their heads on in their first big time game, Alabama will barely take this one away from the Tigers.

2. Tennessee puts a damper on UCLA’s excitement – Rick Whoheisel? As much as I hate to give Fulmer credit for anything except maybe devouring multiple cupcakes in a single bite, it looks like the ugly orange stepchild of the SEC is going to be handing out lollipops and asswhuppins, and will be fresh out of lollipops. Reported friction between Neuheisel and offensive coordinator Norm Chow, and an inexperienced quarterback aren’t going to be helping the Bruins out much either.

3. Missouri makes Illinois point at the doll. “Tell us where the bad Tigers touched you…” I have this feeling that despite Ron Zook’s awesome porno name and the improvements that the Illini have made over the past few years, that the Tigers are going in up to the elbow on this one. Missouri is returning damn near everyone, and like a fine wine, Chase Daniel keeps getting better.

4. Florida will dance like no one’s watching all over Hawaii. This game isn’t going to be interesting because of anticipation over the outcome, as Florida is all but guaranteed a win. This game is going to be interesting because of anticipation of how much they are going to win by. With a Florida a 36.5 point favorite (the highest spread of the week), I’m guessing that they get a comfortable lead, and pull the Baby Rhino out at QB to keep him safe for later, more challenging endeavors.

5. Virginia is shot in the heart, and USC is to blame. What can I say? They give love (and recruiting practices) a bad name. I don’t expect Virginia to win, but I do think they’ll put up a decent fight. With “Dirty” Mark Sanchez back at the helm, but not entirely 100%, the Cavaliers should be able to score one or two TDs before being swept up in the NFL caliber (and pay grade) talent of USC.