The Cristal Baller: LSU

Welcome to the Cristal Baller, where we make wholly unsubstantiated predictions on how all of the SEC teams will be performing in the 2009 season. Just like in Hollywood casting, couch time is rewarded with preferential treatment.

With an obscene amount of talent and a little bit of pure luck (such as West Virginia losing to Pitt) LSU won a national title two years ago. Then they lost Glenn Dorsey, Matt Flynn, Jacob Hester, and Early Doucet to the NFL and “Superstar” Ryan Perrilloux to drugs, gambling, and Jacksonville State. So Les Miles tried to pull the same bag of tricks out of his hat with an inferior team. They went 7-5. *Cough*

Guess what though? LSU will probably return to good form this year, they still have a lot talent and a good quarterback in Jordan Jefferson. Most of LSU’s problem last year was that they had no quarterback play. Jefferson will have a great target in Brandon LaFell and Heisman candidate Charles Scott might be the best running back in the SEC this year. I like LSU to rebound in a big way this year. Look for “The Hat” to be back up to his old tricks.

Season Predictions: 10-2

LSU 31 Washington 13
LSU comes out firing right off the bat and spanks a still struggling Washington team. Look for Charles Scott to shred a weak Washington defense behind big LSU OT Cirion Black. Washington will be unable to move the ball against a tough SEC defense.

LSU 24 Vanderbilt 10
Look for a surprisingly close game going into the second half and then look for the Tigers to start imposing their will on the Commodores. Don’t be surprised if you see the defense get into the scoring act and help the offense out.

LSU 42 Louisiana-Lafayette 21
Will the in-state Rajun Cajuns be able to hang with the Tigers? No they will not. Jefferson, Scott, and LaFell should all be resting comfortably by the end of the third quarter. I know Troy almost beat the Tigers last year, but the Rajun Cajun’s are not the Trojans. LSU should dominate.

LSU 27 Mississippi State 16
The last time that LSU played State in Starkville they won 45-0, but I think Dan Mullen will have the team a little more prepared than Sylvester Croom. The Bulldogs will hang with the Tigers like Vandy till LSU’s superior talent flexes its muscles and pulls away.

Georgia 31 LSU 24
Despite what happened last year during the Bama black-out, Sanford Stadium is not the easiest Stadium to play in. Many teams have been defeated “between the hedges.” I really like Georgia in this contest. Sure they have a new QB and RB but the O-line might be the best in the country (yes I know what I’m talking about). I like Cox to score a 4th quarter TD to put the Bulldogs on top.

Florida 31 LSU 24
Mark it down right now. This will be the game that scares the life out of the Florida nation and almost ruins their perfect season. I not only LSU will hang with Gators, but they will be leading at the end of the third quarter. Then look for Tebow (also known as the Blessed Virgin to Florida fans) to dig deep and rescue his team with some last minute heroics.

LSU 30 Auburn 14
I really despise both of these teams. But I guess I’ll be okay with LSU dominating Auburn on both sides of the ball and sacking Chris Todd into oblivion about 60 times as the LSU D-Line easily pushes around the Auburn O-Line.

LSU 34 Tulane 0
Believe or not this is considered a rivalry game for these two teams. I don’t really understand that. In LSU’s first shutout of the year I like Tulane to completely fold under the weight of a team whose second string team is better than their starters. Fun Fact: to call this rivalry game Tulane, you might have to win one or two.

LSU 31 Alabama 21
Must we go into this game? It almost killed me just to write that score line. LSU beats Bama which makes their upcoming match against Ole Miss a playoff game to see who goes to Atlanta. I hate this prediction, but . . . I hate this prediction.

LSU 30 Louisiana Tech 17
Tech is no pushover but I don’t see them putting up much of a fight against LSU. Miles will probably show off some of his freshmen. He will rest some of his starters after a lead is secured in preparation for the Ole Miss game. Look for this to become five star WR recruit Reuben Randle’s coming out party, in football not homosexuality.

LSU 24 Ole Miss 17
Back to Atlanta the LSU Tigers will go if my predictions are right. LSU gets revenge for the bayou beat-down hey received last year. I really like Jordan Jefferson to make some smart throws to LaFell and others and secure a win at Oxford.

LSU 41 Arkansas 28
Revenge on Bama? Check. Revenge on Ole Miss? Check. Revenge on Arkansas? Big check. The LSU D lets some points slip through but their offense easily outplays a very shoddy Razorback defense. And so the SEC Championship looms for the Tigers. Will it be a rematch with Florida? Yes it will be.