My Week 10 Wrap-Up

My Week 10 Wrap-up


Everything behind the break here

I will be handing out 10 awards after every week of college football. These awards are not “official” NCAA awards, but they do come with fabulous prizes. The prizes mostly consist of Drew doing some kinky things with the head coaches. I try not to ask questions. Anyway, here we go.

“The William Wallace Award” (awarded to player with enough guts to yell as he gets decapitated!)
Michael Crabtree, WR for the Texas Tech Red Raiders. I’ll get into “the play” in another award. I’ve got to say though, Michael Crabtree showed that he has some guts. Catching the ball and running out of bounds would have probably been the safe thing to do, but Crab went to the end zone and won the game. Of course no one realized at the time that if Crabtree had been tacked in field, the game is over. But the former high school QB turned WR overcame two defenders and plunged into the end zone for a heroic win over the #1 team in the country.

“The Big Man, Small Penis Award” (to the team that seemed big, but disappointed in the end)
Tulsa Golden Hurricanes. Tulsa was doing very well for itself. They were undefeated, blowing out lesser competition, and putting up very impressive numbers. To almost guarantee an undefeated season, and maybe a slim shot at a BCS bowl they had to beat Arkansas, but it just didn’t happen. A strong start, and a good 96 yard kick return by Dennis Johnson secured a 30-23 win for Arkansas and gives the Razorbacks a good building block win for next year’s team.

“The Fuck You Award” (awarded to the team everyone hates, that lost because everyone hates them)
Georgia Bulldogs. I don’t give this award to Georgia because they lost. They get this award because of how they loss. I, like everyone else in the country, thought Florida would win this game, but no one saw this coming. Florida absolutely dominated the Dawgs in almost every aspect of the game. Tebow played like a man on fire. Georgia had an interception in the Gator’s first drive that was called back for hands to the face. After that nothing went right for Georgia. Georgia fans have had two big games this year against Alabama and Florida, they could not step up for either game.

“The Do You Believe in Miracles Award” (awarded to a team that pulled the miracle play or upset)
Michael Crabtree scores TD with 1 second remaining. Unless you’ve been in a cave this weekend you’ve probably seen this play a bunch of times. The score was 33-32 and Texas Tech had driven well into field goal range. With 1 timeout and about 8 seconds on the clock Tech ran one more play. Harrell threw the ball to star WR Michael Crabtree who made the grab at the sidelines, shook two defenders, and sprinted into the endzone with one second left on the clock. The Red Raider fans poured onto the field, but were cleared so Tech could kick off too Texas. Texas failed to get anywhere and Tech had pulled the upset.

“The Goliath Beats David Award” (awarded to the power house team that murdered a shitty team)
Oklahoma beats up Nebraska. I refuse to say a lot about this sham of a game. Once again Oklahoma put a zillion points against a crappy defense, and they allowed a few pity TDs. Bradford looked good, the receivers looked good, and Nebraska looked bad, blah, blah, blah, blah.


“The Drawn & Quartered Award” (for the coach that is going to be fired and murdered by his fans)
Tommy Tuberville, Head Coach of the Auburn Tigers. Poor Tubs, after Auburn’s bitter loss to Ole Miss, he looked like a man who knew his fate. The only way Tuberville will be kept on as coach is if he can beat Alabama at home, and even then they would be fools to keep him for just that reason. Eventually Auburns fans have to ask themselves if Tubs is worth the money. In ten years he’s delivered one SEC title. Only time will tell what happens to Tubs as Auburn will more than likely miss out on a bowl and a winning season. God speed you big-ear weirdo.

“The Will Herring Award” (to the player that strives to lose the game for his team!)
Marcus Sims, RB for the Florida State Seminoles. Georgia tech had a slim 31-28 lead but Florida State was right on the goal line. They handed the ball off to Marcus Sims who plunged into the endzone, sadly the ball did not follow suit. A Georgia Tech helmet struck the ball which went up for grabs and was recovered by Georgia Tech. Sometimes it’s not accurate to tell a player a loss is his entire fault, but in this case it actually holds pretty true.

“The Voltron Award” (to the QB with a rocket arm, and a sword made of energy. Think about it.)
Tim Tebow, QB of the Florida Gators. The guy who I had in mind when I created this award has finally won it. Tebow did everything right in this game. He threw for two TDs and ran for three more. I think that loss to Ole Miss really effected Tebow, and every week since then he has come ready to play. Right now no one is playing better football then the Florida Gators and Tim Tebow.

“The Blazer Award” (finding a way to lose since 1991.)
UAB Blazers. The namesake for this award finally gets to win it. The Blazers got beat down by Southern Mississippi 70-14. This football team is going nowhere fast. Webb the Blazer QB was picked off four times and Southern Miss scored TD after TD. Don’t worry UAB, you may be the worst team in Conference USA, but you’re the 4th best FBS team from Alabama.

“Team of the Week” (I hope I don’t have to explain this)
Florida Gators. Florida has looked great against LSU and Kentucky and damn near perfect against the Georgia Bulldogs. Even though they aren’t #1 (Roll Tide!) they look like the best team in the country. But they still have four games and three of them are not easy games. They will probably handle Vandy and absolutely destroy the Citadel. However, South Carolina is playing very tough defense, and the Florida State Seminoles would love to hand the Gators a loss to end the year. All that being said Urban Myer has done everything he can since the puzzling loss to Ole Miss to give Florida its best chance to get into the BCS Championship game.