The Cristal Baller: Auburn

Welcome to the Cristal Baller, where we make wholly unsubstantiated predictions on how all of the SEC teams will be performing in the 2009 season. Just like in Hollywood casting, couch time is rewarded with preferential treatment.

[Editor’s note: Kirk and I switched off UA and AU because it’s more fun that way]

Last season, the Auburn Tigers had a problem or two on offense. What shocked me was the defense. Sure Auburn had many solid defensive games, but they were by no means great. Allowing Bama to put up 36 against them, West Virginia put up 34, Arkansas put up 25, and Tennessee-Martin put up 20 on them. They finished with a bad 5-7 record and Tuberville was wrongly shown the door. [Editor's Note: No he wasn't]

Now Tiger faithful enough of the bad news, let’s get to some good stuff. Your defense is always going to be solid and with super stud Antonio Coleman returning Auburn should be fine on defense. Gene Chizik knows how to stop points. The problem for Auburn is that they have no elite players at quarterback and wide receiver. Chris Todd starts at QB for the Tigers and, under the superb coaching of Gus Malzahn, will lead Auburn to a much better season than last year.

Season Predictions: 7-5

Auburn 24 Louisiana Tech 10
La Tech is no pushover, if you don’t believe me ask the Mississippi State Bulldogs who lost one of their first games to the Bulldogs. That being said look for Auburn to get some good throws and great runs against a suspect La Tech defense, and put the clamp down on their offense.

Auburn 17 Mississippi State 10
Auburn will face a tough and resilient Mississippi State defense but will do a lot better against them offensively then they did last year. Mullen cannot improve the Bulldog offense this quick.

Auburn 20 West Virginia 14
Anyone who thinks this is an upset is crazy. Bill Stewart couldn’t coach his way out of a paper bag. Auburn will stamp out an ineffective West Virginia spread and score just enough points to send the Mountaineers crying.

Auburn 28 Ball State 10
This is not the Ball State from last year, both star QB Nate Davis and former head coach Brad Hoke are gone and this team will have nowhere near the success last year’s team did. Coleman and the defense will shut down the Cardinals and Malzahn will light up the score board.

Tennessee 17 Auburn 10
For the first time in the year Auburn comes up against a decent SEC defense and can’t move the ball. Tennessee scores probably on an Eric Berry run back and a lucky long bomb from Stephens. This game is a break even game for Bama fans, someone we hate loses and someone we hate wins. Is there any way they could both lose?

Arkansas 24 Auburn 21
This one will be a very fun game to watch for both the Tigers and the Razorbacks. It will be Auburn’s pretty good defense versus Arkansas’ pretty good offense. I think Mallet will do just enough to squeak his team past Auburn with a last minute field goal drive.

Auburn 28 Kentucky 9
Furious over losing to Tennessee and Arkansas, Auburn plays one of the best games of the year and keeps an anemic Kentucky offense from ever setting foot in a Jordan-Hare endzone. Caudle and Tate also score some points.

LSU 30 Auburn 14
Rarely does Auburn get blown out, but I will predict it here. I fill that Auburn will just be overmatched and will be catching LSU at Tiger Stadium at just the wrong time. The Bengal Tigers will flatten the Auburn Tigers.

Auburn 17 Ole Miss 14
I know I’m insane, but this feels like a loss for Ole Miss. If you’ll remember Auburn hung with Ole Miss last year (at Ole Miss) and Auburn stunk last year. I think Ole Miss will have a last minute drive lead by a determined Snead to kick a field goal for a tie. The kicker will miss, can we say irony.

Auburn 31 Furman 0
Are you kidding me? Furman!? Even compared to Tennessee-Martin and North Texas Furman is pretty damn bad. Auburn wins, I give no more feedback on this game.

Georgia 28 Auburn 17
The bad news for Auburn is that Georgia plays better when they have no expectations. Guess what? This year they don’t. Cox and the Georgia offense will consistently move the ball on Auburn’s worn out and exhausted defense.

Alabama 28 Auburn 17
Chizik is tired and wants to go on vacation, Coleman is already thinking about the NFL, and Todd is wondering what kind of gift bag he’ll get at the Music City Bowl (it will have an iPod in it buddy). Alabama’s o-line plays perfect and McElroy and Ingram shred the Auburn D.