Auburn’s Opponents Are “Turrible”

By my own admission, I am a masochistic sports addict, which in the state of Alabama means that I listen to WJOX sports talk radio on a (too) regular basis. While you can occasionally hear intelligent discussion on this station, it is usually drowned out by the trailer dwelling mouth breathers screaming about “Bammers” this and “Barners” that.

The Bama/Auburn Homer/Hater (depending on which team you support) and WJOX radio personality Paul Finebaum wrote in an article published today that “West Virginia (3-1) is the only team with a winning record that Auburn has beaten” and “When you add up to the record of Auburn's five opponents, the combined mark is 9-14.” This is a valid point, but without the context of the other top teams in the country, it is a very misleading statement. For example, the number 3 team in the country (who should probably be number 1), Alabama, boasts an overall opponent record of 9-12, with just one team, Virginia Tech, with a winning record. Oddly, Mr. Finebaum failed to mention this, or was unaware of it. I’m not saying Alabama isn’t good (they are), but I am pointing out that Finebaum’s argument doesn’t hold water, at least not when compared to other teams.

To compare apples to apples, here is a look at a few of the top teams in football, judged by the same standard that was placed on Auburn:

#1 Florida (4–0) Opponents' Record (8–10) No Opp. w/ winning record

#2 Texas (4–0) Opponents' Record(11–9) LA Monroe/Wyoming/Tex Tech(3-2)

#3 Alabama (5–0) Opponents' Record (9–12) Virginia Tech (4-1)

#4 LSU (5–0) Opponents' Record (11–13) Georgia (3-2)

#5 VT (4–1) Opponents' Record (16–7) AL(5-0), Marsh(3-2), Nebr/Miami(3-1)

#6 Boise St. (5–0) Opponents' Record (7–16) Oregon (4-1)

#7 USC (4–1) Opponents' Record (11–13) Ohio St (4-1), Cal (3-2)

#8 Cincinnati (5–0) Opponents' Record (8–15) Rutgers(3-1), Oreg. St(3-2)

#9 Ohio St. (4–1) Opponents' Record (14–10) USC(4-1), Navy/Illinois/Ind.(3-2)

#10 TCU (4–0) Opponents' Record (7–10) No Opp. w/ winning record

This is why it is absurd to rank teams at this point in the season, and even more ridiculous to rank them in the pre-season. USC has no business near the top ten, with a loss to a 2-3 Washington team who had a lot of heart but who aren’t very good (and don’t bring up their Notre Dame game as a defense, as the Irish are beyond bad this year). Ohio State isn’t even the best team in the Big 11 (that title belongs to Iowa at this point) and they also have a loss to USC, who we’ve already covered. The only one loss team who should be near the top ten is Virginia Tech, who played well against a very strong Alabama squad, and who showed resilience against Nebraska, but struggled against Duke.

Our final “durr” ranking comes from Boise State, who beat an inconsistent Oregon team and will play absolutely no one of any substance for the rest of the season, and whose opponents’ combined record is a stunning 7-16, making Alabama look great, and Auburn look decent by comparison. And this is the best hope for a BCS buster? Unfortunately, pre-season and early season rankings are going nowhere, so I’ll move on.

In looking at the top ten teams, especially five games into the season, I feel like there is a strong argument, especially based on Mr. Finebaum’s criteria, that Auburn is a top ten team. Anyone with one loss five games into the season has no business in the top ten. This year, more than most in recent memory, there is very little clarity in the top 25. Outside of Alabama, Florida, and Texas, you could almost throw the other names in the air, put them in random order, and it would still make almost as much sense as it does now.

Ultimately there is one sure way to move up in the rankings, and that is to keep winning. Hopefully Auburn will continue to do so, but the seven games left in the season are going to be significantly more difficult than the first five. And wouldn’t it be amazing if an undefeated Alabama played an undefeated Auburn in the Iron Bowl? It almost surely won’t happen, but if it does, I totally called it.

Auburn Finally Gets Noticed

After putting up a strong performance against a "defensively solid but offensively patheti-sad" Tennessee squad this weekend and moving to an undefeated 5-0 on the season, the Auburn Tigers have vaulted to 17 in the AP polls and 19 in the Coaches Poll, as shown in this artist's rendering using an attractive woman's bum. Please remind my wife that this is entirely football related.

The Tigers' stellar offense under Gus Malzahn turned in another stalwart performance against Monty Kiffin's "stouter than we would have expected" defense. While the score of 26-22 made the game look closer than it actually was, Tennessee's offense was stunningly bad. I refuse to let all of the blame go to Jonathan Crompton on this one. Sure, most of the blame is fine, but not all of it. The receivers dropped perfectly tolerable passes time after time, and the offensive line did little to help out the passing game. If it weren't for RB Montario Hardesty and a TE whose name I'm too lazy to look up, the Volunteers wouldn't have had a single point on the board. Hardesty should get a damn medal for the performance he has turned in against Florida and Auburn. Meanwhile, Eric Berry looked decidely un-Eric Berry-ish in a solid but forgettable performance.

So now Auburn been noticed, even going so far as to making the front page of ESPN as of the time of this post. Now all we have to do is play the hardest part of our schedule, a large portion of which is on the road. The offense is blowing and going, but unless Coach Chizik and Defensive Coordinator Ted Roof get the defense back on track, and find a magic potion to avoid injuries, it's going to get a lot rougher from here on out. This Auburn team has shown something special so far in this season, and with good luck, injury bug repellent, and continued offensive production, we are looking at a season that is going to exceed almost everyone's expectations.

The MLP (My Little Pony) Preseason Season Rankings

Eds note: This is the first of hopefully many articles by our new contributor, Kirk. He's a heavily biased Alabama fan, and this may leak through in his writing.

It's the time of year for meaningless preseason Top 25 lists.



When everyone from qualified professionals to lonely homosexuals try to come up with their picks for the Top 25 Division I teams.

Not wanting to be left out, I am throwing my hat into the ring and giving you my unbiased opinion on who I think should be in the Top 25.

I'm not saying that my 25 list is better than the AP or coaches polls but . . .

that's exactly what I'm saying.

Before we start here are three teams that came close to making the list, but just didn't quite make it, sort of like Hilary Clinton:

Hon. Mention: Michigan Wolverines - I don't know how Michigan will fare under Rodriguez's spread offense, but it is Michigan so I give them honorable mention.

Hon. Mention: Alabama Crimson Tide - I'd love to put my beloved Tide in the top 25, but too many questions leaves my boys out of the top 25. Hey Saban, I wanna be on you.

Hon. Mention: Florida State Seminoles - Watch out for Bowden/Fischer Nole's of 08'. They aren't contenders yet but they might play spoiler.

And now . . .

continue reading

#25 - Fresno State Bulldogs



Is this the next Hawaii or Boise State, probably not but they have a shot to be. Their offensive cordinator is off to Alabama, but with QB Tom Brandstater returning along with some explosive WRs and RBs, this team might improve on their 9-4 season last year.

#24 - Pittsburgh Panthers



Last year this team's only accomplishment was playing spoiler for West Virginia (well done!), but now they are poised to be the Big East's dark horse team. The defense is excellent, and if LeSean McCoy is as good a running back as Pitt says he is, the Panthers could make a run.

#23 - Penn State Nittany Lions



Does Joe Pa have any good seasons left in him? Frankly I'm suprised he can still find the field at his age. But just because their coach is older than the sport of football, doesn't mean the Lions can't be great. If they want to stay in it they have to be much more productive on offense and maintain their stellar defense.

#22 - Wake Forest Demon Deacons



A lot of people say I'm "in the closet." I don't know what they mean by that, but I definitely a closet Wake fan. Jim Grobe is a very underrated coach, and with Alphonso Smith returning at CB and Aaron Curry at LB the Demon Deacons defense could win them a lot of games.

#21 - Tennessee Volunteers



Call me crazy but I'm not convinced of Tennessee's greatness since they were beat badly by a certain Alabama team (who lets face it was not great). That being said, fat Phillip Fulmer has been succesful at Tennessee and sigh . . . there is no reason to think they will not be good again.

I fucking hate Rocky Top!

#20 - Oregon Ducks



I don't get the Oregon jersey, what is with the tire treads on the shoulders of the jersey? Oregon got a rude awakening when Dennis Dixon went bye-bye and they went from contender to a team that just plain sucked. The offense system is still good though, and Oregon might not be as bad off with Dixon as much as they think.

#19 - South Florida Bulls



When they beat Auburn last year I became a Bulls fan. I might rank Jim Leavitt as a top ten coach, but South Florida's year is on the shoulder's of QB Matt Grothe who is the heart and soul of the Bull's offense. So Grothe goes, so the South Florida season goes.

#18 - Illinois Fighting Illini



Only Ron Zook, in a span of a few years, could go from losing to Mississippi State at Florida to taking a team to the Rose Bowl. Sure they were beat like a red headed step child, but they were there. QB Juice Williams will have to pull double duty, but he will do it behind a strong line that includes returners LT Xavier Fulton and C Ryan McDonald.

#17 - Arizona State Sun Devils



Last year the Devils were pretty good, but looking closer, no they weren't that good. Before you say, "You're crazy they went 10-2," they had a VERY light schedule and lost badly to Oregon, USC, and Texas the good teams they played. A lot of returning talent puts them on the list, but not very high for a 10-2 team.

#16 - Brigham Young Cougars



How often do you get to avenge a loss in the same season, well BYU did by avenging a loss to UCLA by beating them in the Vegas Bowl. I just think that's cool. BYU has a much better chance then Fresno to be a BCS crasher this year, they have better talent and a better coach in Bronco Mendenhall.

#15 - Kansas Jayhawks



If you had told me that a man that weighs 400 pounds would lead a football team at a basketball school to a BCS win I would have punched you right in your stupid face. It would have been okay, I hit like a girl, but Kansas packed a wallop last year and made many ESPN commentators look foolish. It's all up to man-child Mangino and QB Todd Reesing to prove last year was not a fluke.

#14 - Virginia Tech Hokies



I always thought the Hokies had a good defense, and then LSU scored like 50 points on them. Still, that loss aside, the Hokies easily won the ACC and lost a close one to Kansas in the Orange Bowl. A lot of people want to crown Clemson as ACC champ, but I still plump for VA Tech.

#13 - Auburn Tigers



I hate Auburn, I hate Auburn, I HATE AUBURN! but this is supposed to be unbiased. A lot of questions on Tony Franklin's spread offense and a toss-up at QB keeps the Tigers out the top 10, but the defense should be stellar as always and the schedule is favorable to Tubbs and crew.

#12 - Texas Tech Red Raiders



Heisman hopefuls QB Graham Harrell and WR Michael Crabtree will score a gazillion points this year. The question is, can Mike Leach put together enough defense to keep their opponents from scoring a gazillion and 1 points? If they can't Texas Tech will have to settle for the Gator, Cotton, or other second tier bowl again.

#11 - Texas Longhorns



Will Muschamp, the only good thing to come from Auburn joins the ranks of the longhorns. If Texas has lacked something since their 2005 NC, then it has been defense. So Mack Brown went out and got himself one of the best damn defense cords in college football. Muschamp was such a good motivator even I wanted to go play defense for Auburn.

#10 - Clemson Tigers



QB Cullen Harper, RB C.J. Spiller, DE Ricky Sapp these guys alone make Clemson a contender for the ACC crown. What's stoping them? A coach that can't help but lose in Tommy Bowden and an extremly questionable o-line. Good luck Bama!

#9 - Wisconsin Badgers



Every year I think the Badgers are BCS bound and every year they fall just short. Last year Wisconsin won every game they should have and lost every one they shouldn't have. The result: a 9-4 season and mediocre bowl loss. Probable QB Allan Evridge has got to be productive because Wisconsin is returning talent everywhere except at WR.

#8 - LSU Tigers



The reigning champs will not repeat this year, the talent is down and the river boat gambler, Les Miles, can only be lucky for so long. Still the talent is still great and it should be a fun struggle between them and Auburn for the SEC West. Fun for them not for Alabama fans.

#7 - West Virginia Mountaineers



West Virginia had all but bought their tickets to New Orleans to play for a National Title. All they had to do was beat a woeful Pitt. Something funny happened though, they lost. And like that West Virginia's best hope of a NC was gone. QB Pat White must put this team and coach on his shoulders and walk them to the National Title game.

#6 - Missouri Tigers



QB Chase Daniels was very, very good last year and will be again. Missouri was shut out of the BCS party unfairly and took their anger out on an unprepared Arkansas team. They are a great team, but they have to beat Oklahoma before I will rank them over the Sooners.

#5 - Oklahoma Sooners



Bob Stoops is great at winning ball games and bad at winning bowl games. But Oklahoma was great last year with hardly any returning seniors, and this year all that young talent including superb QB Sam Bradford comes back with another year under their belts. Oklahoma should win the Big 12 again and with some luck might be in the National Title game this year.

#4 - Florida Gators



The Gators have lost a lot of talent to injuries, including awesome TE Cornelius Ingram. Shout out to Ingram for coming back when he could have had millions in the draft. I really hope he can recover. Even with the injured players Florida will still be a force to be reckoned with, and it all has to do with the 8th wonder of the world . . . Tim Tebow. I'm pretty sure he can fly and has heat vision. Percy Harvin is pretty cool too.

#3 - USC Trojans



Come on it's freakin USC, we all hate them and their feathered hair coach, but lets face it, USC gets it done. Their third string team is better than half this list's first string team. With QB Mark Sanchez, RB Joe McKnight, and DT Fili Moala and slew of other awesome talented players USC should easily win the PAC-10 and have a shot at the Championship game.

#2 - Georgia Bulldogs



Richt, Stafford, Moreno, Battle, these names and a slew of others make Georgia the second best team in the country. In what will essentially be a NC semi-final game, the winner of Georgia vs. Florida will win the SEC and go to Miami to play for the title. It will be tough though, the Bulldogs have a killer schedule.

#1 - Ohio State Buckeyes



I don't like OSU and I never will. Their fans are annoying and their coach looks like a sex offender. However, they are returning a stellar offense which includes the best RB in the country in Beanie Wells, and a nasty defense which includes phenom LB James Laurinaitis and CB Malcolm Jenkins. Let's face it when USC and OSU play against each other in Week 3, everyone in America including yours truly will be glued to the TV.

Well thats my list. I was as honest and unbiased as a hardcore Alabama Crimson Tide fan could be. I would love any input I could get.