Saturday, April 11, 2009

Spring is a Slow Time for Football


I'm well aware that there are tons of college football blogs and news sites that offer you up to the minute news reports on spring practices and early 2010 recruiting news. This is obviously not one of those places.

Now what can you get here that you can't get from those other "legitimate" sources of news who actually put forth "effort" to getting you to read their sites?

Well, frankly... nothing. At least nothing of substance. Spring is boring as hell, and writing about spring practices (which I have no means to actually conduct an on-site visit of) is about as much fun as trying to masturbate with a cheese grater.

In lieu of actual news, I've decided to offer up a extra crispy hot wings recipe, provided you own a deep fryer. If you don't own a deep fryer, go ahead and get one, as it's actually required for you to be considered a man. (Look it up in the man guide) Join me on an adventure for your tastebuds.



Things you'll need:
1 12 Lb bag of frozen unflavored chicken drums and wings (Sam's/Costco sell them for about $11 or so)
4 cups of Frank's Red Hot hot sauce (it's good on everything)
1/2 stick of butter (don't be a pussy and use margarine)
1 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
A six pack of your favorite beer

Marginally Idiot-Resistant Directions:
1. Open your first beer. Take a nice big swig.
2. Pre-heat the deep fryer to 375 degrees
3. Load up the biggest fry basket so that the entire bottom of the basket is coated with frozen chicken. Drink some more beer.
4. Once the fryer is up to temperature, drop the fully frozen wings into the fryer for 7 minutes. Reward yourself with another healthy swig of beer.
5. Melt the 1/2 stick of butter in a cup in the microwave.
6. Give your beer some TLC. Using a whisk or a fork, mix the melted butter, hot sauce, and all of the pepper in a large mixing bowl until everything is nice and mixy.
7. Your wings should be done by now. Pull them out of the deep fryer, get yourself a pair of tongs, and move the piping hot wings from the basket into the wing sauce.
8. Get each wing a healthy coating of wing sauce, then eat the hell out of them.

Continue drinking beer and eating hot wings until you run out of either, then re-load and repeat until you explode. You're welcome.

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